Wednesday 2 February 2011

Read this... or don't

I'm a baby daddy and have been for 11 weeks now. I change diapers, I feed little bubs, I burp and change her. I'm as involved as I can be without breasts or a moob. For those who don't know what this is, it's a fake man-boob used by some men to feed a baby in a more 'natural' way. My wife threatens to buy me one every now and again.

The trouble is it took me a few weeks to get to the stage where I can say I unconditionally love my daughter and will do anything for her. I had to get past a stage of anxiety and feeling totally alien in my own home, adjusting to a totally new life. I'll give you a run down of how my life as a papa started. I'll tell you things that people just don't tell you because it might put you off being a parent (as if you somehow have a choice about being a parent once you're partner is pregnant). There seem to be an extraordinary number of taboo things that you just mustn't say to someone when they're expecting a baby. These are things that, generally speaking, aren't in any of the millions of books about pregnancy and parenting.

The thing is these are all things that I wanted to know, they are things that make me feel as though I'm normal and going through normal parenting feelings and anxieties. So I'm going to say some of these things in the hope that you read this and pass it on to someone, hopefully an expectant dad because there is a so little out there for expectant dad's to read, so they have a little more info for fatherhood.  Parents to be need to know that as well as being a wonderous, emotional and exciting experience, parenting can also be incredibly shitty too. You're fed so much positive crap when your partner is pregnant that when you're left alone at home covered in baby barf, desperately clinging to a screaming, wiggling demon child you can't help but think that either you're a terrible father or someone lied to you. Big time.

You should also tell whoever you send this to that they don't have to read this at all. God knows the one thing people expecting a child hate more than morning sickness or doctor's bills is well meaning advice from others.

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